NO! Why is Cartman crossed out? It is for that reason you have a power that normal humans do not have. Henrietta, your little brother wants to play with you. "Faith", South Park: The Complete Fourteenth Season. Players will once again assume the role of the New Kid, and join South Park favorites Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman in a new hilarious and outrageous RPG adventure. Crowds take to the streets to see South Park's favorite super hero: Mysterion. Based on his body type it's gotta be someone like Stan or Kyle. What should I do, Ma? Isn't that cool? Well you don't! Much to the Coon's dismay, another Super Hero gets there first. Just set up a video camera. He, he could be Mysterion. Mysterion, beloved protector of the city, is dead. In the episode, Kenny and his new girlfriend are encouraged by the Jonas Brothers to wear purity rings, which is secretly a marketing tactic by Disney to sell sex to young girls. 'Member I even said it before! No, it's true. I think I'm gonna go to bed. Aw nonononono, I am the symbol this town needs! I'm tired, guys. Please, I give up! He also seems to like making fun on other allies, especially when Human Kite (Kyle Broflovski) or Call Girl (Wendy Testaburger), calling them inferior to himself. "Eat, Pray, Queef" is the fourth episode of the thirteenth season of the American animated television series South Park. How utterly delightful! Oh all right Kyle! As the Coon explained how the disaster could be stopped, something terrible happened. Yeah? The Coon is first seen in the prologue of South Park: The Fractured But Whole, narrating on what has become of the city. Can't help but think-, [grabbing his crotch constantly, and singing badly off-key] Babih babih babih oooo! Come back! What do you mean "continued"? The heroic and mighty Coon. Full Episodes. If you are seeing this message, then it must be dark times. Not our god. Mayb-ay, My identity must remain a secret. And you assholes NEVER REMEMBER! Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Unsurprisingly, most of the superheroes point out that Mitch Conner, the eventual main villain of the ga… Just stop! Won't be long before the next villain comes along and threatens violence unless you take off your mask. I know it's you, Kyle. In a South Park homage to the 1981 film, "Heavy Metal", the boys are trying to get Kenny off the latest drug craze that's captured the junior high and under set. I try to do good stuff and nobody even notices! Mint-Berry Crunch moves to intervene while Coon continues to rake Mosquito across the face. There are innocents to protect. The power given to you comes from a planet far away. Yep, that's him. Wow, can you believe it Kenny? Bradley actually had superpowers. Here's that file on the Rodriguez case, detective. Berries that have the power to fuel nearly anything. Dude, everyone's trying to figure out who you are. No, he's too fat. Cthulhu isn't behaving as most scientists had speculated, Tom, but the dark lord is wreaking havoc everywhere and-. I give up! Look, maybe we should just a place to hid and wait for help. Mysterion and Professor Chaos are fighting! Well, I'm off. South Park Archives is a FANDOM TV Community. I thought at least school would be canceled. Well, come back and visit any time, dude. I mean, a-aren't you a good guy? Text is available under the … I was bitten by a radioactive mosquito! There's some graffiti on the bridge again. What we need to do is talk to people in that cult! What should I do? But you really wanna blow up a hospital? 03/18/2009. Mysterion • Alright, listen: you have five seconds to leave or we're gonna put you in the jail and call your parents! The city needs my help. Use your power, son. Mosquito goes up in the air and bounces on the road. But you guys, what should I do? This freaking sucks! Thank you. In \"The Coon,\" Cartman assumed the identity of the Coon to wipe out crime in South Park, but his idea of crime was flawed as he attacked a man he thought was a rapist when he was trying to kiss his date. I'm going around making the world a better place! It all began when the BP Oil Company drilled into the ocean floor and ripped open a hole into another dimension. Fireworks are illegal in Colorado, you asshole! He just wears his underwear over his buttfucking pants! You should fuck off, that's what you should do. Clearly something is wrong with me. "The Coon" rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park. I want to... help you... get rid of Mysterion! Fandom Apps Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. The only thing that can destroy an immortal... is another immortal. He then proceeds to activate and enter his time machine (which just turns out to be his bedroom closet) to head back to the past to try an… Cartman, if you team up with the most evil thing in the universe, then clearly you are the bad guy! T-shirt I gave you? He must have come for my help. And I'll put an end to him, and all of you goody-two-shoe heroes! I'm going to try to get you all out of here. I'll sue you! All right, now, we've taken out most of the synagogues, destroyed San Francisco, sent my friends into a dark oblivion, and so our next order of business will be Burning Man. Yeah, but he's a fuckin' dick! With Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mona Marshall, April Stewart. Dude, thanks for getting us out of that dark oblivion, Mintberry Crunch. And it won't go away, and nobody will believe me! You don't care about stopping crime, you're just doing this... 'cause you hate me, Kyle! "Coon and Friends" set out to help the victims of BP's latest catastrophic drilling accident in the Gulf. The Coon's quotes largely revolve around his superhero persona; he often makes references to his animal namesakeand refers himself in the third person. You're making it a better place for you! You know, you're a little scrotum-licker dude! Yes, that's totally understandable. Alright, you guys hide as long as you can. I reached the Gulf of Mexico in no time, and with all my strength, I dragged Cthulhu back to the depths from whence he came! Well you cannot know my true identity either. Yeah, took me real long to figure it out! Should I say I've done this before? Not that supervillains like you guys could ever see a double rainbow! Oh no, we worked as a team! He sometimes acts self-centered, most notably when his allies are targeted by buffing abilities. Are my friends downstairs in the secret base? Double rainbow, you guys. Uh, he was dressed mostly in black with a kind of... cloak. A rival superhero appears on the scene in the form of "Mysterion" and challenges the Coon's place as a "symbol" for the town. This is inhumane! You, you... butthole! What should I do? The Coon South Park, night. Whowell I b- Well I b- ah I just would jes one nigh-, and then the Coon saw it up and I wa able to, and was able to. He jumped down from the fire escape stairs, and then he just ran off. Coon kicks him in the balls and leaps at him, and grins. I don't think we're gonna last very long out here. In order to save the Earth, this little butthole had to be stopped. There's a big bucket with Butters' poop in here, and there's nothing to eat! Sit back, justice believers, and listen to another edition of America's favorite superhero, Mintberry Crunch! Come back! It fuckin' hurts! That's what I'm supposed to say! He promised everything would change if we worshiped him, but we're still sitting here smoking cigarettes like before. "You Have 0 Friends" is the fourth episode of the 14th season of the American animated television series South Park, and the 199th episode of the series overall. you mean every word you say I assume you must be Cartman, because you're fat. The 185th overall episode of the series, it originally aired on Comedy Central in the United States on April 1, 2009. Go on in, Bradley. There are still many more questions left unanswered. Necronomicon • Go on! Let's try to get caught up on some paperwork. Let me out! You've been to the nightmare city of R'Lyeh? Cthulhu and other beings are from this city, but for years cultists have tried to bring them into our world. https://southpark.fandom.com/wiki/The_Coon/Script?oldid=410813. The 182nd overall episode of the series, it first aired on Comedy Central in the United States on March 11, 2009. You are a beacon of hope in an otherwise bleak and dreary world! Huhey, can I see the double rainbow, fellas? This way! S14 • E2. It's my theory she might have a lesbian lover who's holding her leash. 02:12. Seeing the disaster on Coon-Vision, the Coon immediately called together his trusty Coon Friends. Yeah huh! Though Cartman tries to raise awareness about The Coon through word of mouth, nobody pays much attention to the Coon's efforts. Some headlines are: "Crime Rate Up," "No End In Sight!!" The season was headed by the series creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who served as executive producers along with Anne Garefino. No, because it's for the greater good, like when Superman teamed up with Lex Luthor! I knew it was you! Cartman [voice over] The city isn't what it used to be. We all wanna go home, Clyde. But our two worlds collided and soon, mint and berry were one. The power of mint and berries yet with a satisfying tasty crunch! For no reason. Uhget the Coon a Sprite, General Disarray. It's not pretty cool, Kyle! South Park is safe. Needless to say, when the mint hunters of Kogenrah got word of them, our fate was already sealed, Gok'Zarah. That god you pray to just took away all my friends. But now I believe someone is trying to learn my true identity. And you must have many questions. The Coon signals his fellow heroes to discuss the disaster. Cartman tries to become a superhero, only to have another fourth grader steal his thunder by becoming one too and becoming more popular. That's cool, I understand. So long, Justin Bieber, you little douchebag! Mysterion • I'm sorry! South Park: The Stick of Truth. Where is Mysterion? The clock is ticking and the citizens of South Park are gripped in fear. "The Coon" rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park. Curious crowds in the town of South Park, Colorado. Watch Episode, South Park: The Complete Thirteenth Season. Perhaps we should make more lemon bars to raise money for people in need. I'm actually relieved. Everyone who's seen Mysterion, say yeah! Yes. I was in a car accident, then put back together with Tupperware parts. Tom, it appears that Bruce Vilanch has arrived on the scene wearing a rat costume. Thank you for all your help. At poker night, Randy brags about his big balls. I came to see if you know Mysterion's identity. Only you, Kyle, would be a buzzkill, and try to steal my thunder! Okay sorry sorry! Then it's back down to fill up the hole created by the BP Oil Company, returning home only momentarily to flip off my fat sister. That's what I did, Mom! Should I admit I made mistakes? Don't let the city's peacefulness fool you, commissioner! After the triumphant victory over the evil hippies of Burning Man, Coon and Friends turned their attention to the next villainous scourge, bravely taking out every Whole Foods left in the country! If you have any idea about the true identity of Mysterion, please call the 9 News Hotline. I can't tell you what happened 'cause it's about my super secret double life! I cannot stand here and make idle conversation any longer. Ahaaa! As hundreds of people gather to try and get a glimpse of the superhero, one question remains: Who is Mysterion? And the guy at the movie theater is harassing Mexicans again. Warning This Article contains information marked as Mature.In other words, it will have an adult theme and contain scenes and storylines which are unsuitable for readers under 18 years of age. Be careful Bruce Vilanch! https://southpark.fandom.com/wiki/Coon_vs._Coon_%26_Friends/Script?oldid=431491. Only you would think of a name that dumb! Aaah, a m m Mysterion, I b-, I beg you, I mean ah, judahadahada... Why are you doing this?! It cries for protection and I will-. Grab her legs, Mysterion! Is that your name? Who will save us now? Yes, Coon and Friends are happy to help. No! Your home planet, K'oh Kajan, is known throughout the universe for its berry mines. Got everything you need here, sir? Oh right. Well I, I think he's kind of a symbol for the town, you know? South Park S13 E2. The dark and evil Cthulhu is bringing his angry wrath down upon the Burning Man Festival, Tom. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Okay on beverages, buffet items? Maybe I can find the reason for my powers too. Mysterion? There are superhumans fighting right over there! No more organic crap for America! Do you think I'm a fool?! Because I think you are the smartest kid in class. Don't do it, Mysterion! Or, I could be wrong. Women Love Huge Balls? In South Park: The Fractured but Whole, players will delve into the crime-ridden underbelly of South Park with Coon and Friends. Not jump out the window and fly to New Orleans? But then what exactly is your superpower? I got boned! I die over. Mintberry Crunch doesn't ever pee his pants! Special Attack - can hop/climb up tall pipes and ledges. The Coon • And now you're more grounded, young man! I thought that when Cthulhu rose from the dead all was gonna be darkness and pain. Look! Just doin' stuff Mom. [enters the house] Dude, I'm seriously! Just let your little brother play with your friends, sweetie. You have an entire wall dedicated to Mysterion? Hahahahahahahahaaa... Look what the cat dragged in. You will listen to me! Babih babih babih oooo! Hello my son. Upon seeing Cthulhu in person, Mintberry Crunch heroically dashed off, to, to save the day! Full Ep. He's merely a small piece of Coon and Friends, who will continue to fight for good and justice. Professor Chaos • And so, the Coon had returned with the dark lord Cthulhu! We barely got a look at him. And, in another dimension. Uh, using our photos we are tryin' to pinpoint Mysterion's identity. Nobody in the real world even knows we're here. I finally learned my lesson! You guys have no memory of me shooting myself in the head, do you? 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